Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont, Chp. 12, Gen. 1, 1718

~February 1718~
Dear Diary:

     Felicity has become a lovely teenager.  She is nothing like Emilie was during her hard times.  Felicity has become a lover of Claude's newspaper (well I suppose she already was, but it has become even more evident now) and of books.

      Her smile lights up her face like the sun on a meadow.  She is not just a lovely face; I tutor her with learning French and English.  She takes her lessons seriously and is a pleasure to be around her.  She has a few friends, but none of her relationships with them can compare to the relationship between Bernard and Emilie.

     Felicity will read any book that Claude writes.  It's very cute.   Sometimes Felicity will beg to go with Claude to the Printer's to watch him print.  Any time he prints a book, Claude will wink at her and ask if she'd like to look over his work and see if he has made any mistakes.  She gladly agrees, but I know her main priority is reading the book...

     I am also pleased to say that Emilie has recognized how rude she has been to Felicity and has apologized.  The girls are now great friends and I can tell that their friendship will not be ruined again.  That makes me smile.  Oh, how I do love my dear daughters!  How I do love watching them blossom into great, strong women.  It makes me proud to be their mother.
     I have still been very upset over the news of African slaves being brought to America.  Claude has felt similarly.  He has consulted me and we've come to a decision.

     "Elizabeth," Claude started, "I'm thinking of starting an abolitionist newspaper.  That way, we will be able to fight against the slavery.  Think about it, Elizabeth!  This is the first step in ending slavery!  We can do it!  And, I'm sure that Felicity will eventually want to help out and such..."
     I nodded slowly.  "Claude, if this is what you want, I think it's a wonderful idea.  I want you to follow your heart."  
     Claude looked at me strangely.  "Are you okay, dear?  You seem... different." 
     "No, not at all," I said.  "I'm fine.  I'm just feeling a bit- well, I'm getting older.  I just believe in following your dreams.  I've followed mine.  You follow yours."

     It felt great to be in Claude's arms again.  I held on, not wanting to let go.  
     But, Claude is right.  I have felt strange lately.  I do feel older.  But I feel almost like I'm being forced to let go.  I love my family.  I don't want to leave them.  They are my life, love, and happiness.  


     With love, 
              Elizabeth
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     Claude began painting a portrait of Elizabeth.  He claimed that he'd promised it to her years ago.  He also claimed that future generations of the Beaumont family would have it to enjoy for centuries.  Elizabeth was also rather skilled in painting, and decided to paint a portrait of Claude.
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      In the fall of 1718, Jean-Claude came down with Malaria.   Both Claude and Elizabeth were hysterical.

     Jean-Claude screamed and cried.  He was usually fine in the mornings, but at night, he was at his worst.  
     "Maman, Papa!" He would wail in despair and pain.

     But, despite their best efforts, nothing they did could make him feel much better or comfortable.

     "My sweet, sweet boy," Elizabeth sobbed.  "How unfortunate it is that you will never know how much I love you."  A single tear slipped down her rouged cheek.
     Jean-Claude did not stir.  Elizabeth stroked his hair and kissed his forehead.  She turned away and started to go.

     "Ma- Maman?" A weak voice called out.  Elizabeth stopped stiffly.  She squeezed her eyes shut and more tears rolled down her face.
     "Yes, my sweet?"
     "I-I love you, too, Maman."
     "Be strong, sweetie.  Be strong.  I will love you no matter what."

     "Go back to sleep, Jean-Claude.  Just sleep."  Elizabeth started down the steps.

     "Claude," Elizabeth chocked out when she saw him downstairs.

     "Oh, Claude!"  Elizabeth started sobbing in his arms.  He patted her back.  
     "Shh, Elizabeth, shh."
     "Why does he have to feel such pain, just why?  I love him so much-"
     "It's okay, dear, it's okay."
     "No, it's not okay, Claude!  It is not okay to have a child die.  It's not!"  Elizabeth pulled away.  

     "It's not okay.  It's just not okay, not, not, not..."  Elizabeth sighed.
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      Elizabeth gazed at the empty fireplace.  Oh, how so long ago it was that we ever had a fire in this fireplace!  After the fire incident so long ago, Claude forbade Elizabeth to ever set another fire.  Now, Elizabeth thought that seemed silly.

      Wouldn't it be a wonderful treat for Jean-Claude to see a fire here?  Before he passes on?  Elizabeth turned the thought over in her mind.  

     Yes, I think Jean-Claude does deserve a nice warm fire! Elizabeth suddenly let out a sob.  The doctor wasn't sure how much longer he would have to live.

     Elizabeth started the fire, and as she did so, she was reminded of the memory of when she had met Claude.  Claude is such a great father.  

 

      A small ember flew out onto the carpet.  Elizabeth, shocked, backed away.  The ember ignited and started to spread.  Elizabeth felt frozen, despite the heat. 

     "Help, help," She whispered faintly, then screamed.  "HELP!"

     Elizabeth backed into the corner, trapped.  How had the fire grown so quickly?  Elizabeth vowed to dispose of the rug, or at least move it- once she escaped.

     "CLAUDE, HELP!" The kids were all out playing, Emilie was probably still in bed, Jean-Claude was sleeping.  There was no way they would have been able to hear.  But where was Claude?  Elizabeth could have sworn he was around the house somewhere.

     The realization began to dawn on Elizabeth; there was no escaping.  The fire was growing and the heat was too much to bear.  Sadly, Elizabeth shook her head.  It seemed like a dream.  She knew her end was near, but this was too soon.  She loved her family and wasn't ready to leave them.  She did what she knew best.

     My beautiful, darling angels!  How I love you all.  Even though this thought is in my head and not in my diary(which is in my drawer in my room) I want you to know that you all fulfilled my dream in life and I will always be with you.  You will never be alone, even on the coldest nights.  Even on the dreariest days.  I will look after you all and you all have completed my life.  

Be strong.  Never give up.  Whenever you need me, look inside your hearts.  I'm with the stars now.   I belong in the sky.

     With love,

             Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont, your adoring mother

     Elizabeth could hear her name being called as the fire surrounded her and climbed up her dress.  Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth.

     The voice sounded so familiar, until Elizabeth realized that it was her little sister, Emilie.  Don't be afraid, Elizabeth.  It's your time.  Come join me and we can be together once again.  We can be together once again...

     Elizabeth felt herself drifting away and giving into the heat.  But she was not afraid.  She would be with her sister.  She would be at peace.  She would guide her children from above.  

She was gone.

     By the time Claude had discovered the fire, there was no sign of Elizabeth, except for ash.  The family took it hard.  Elizabeth was a special soul.  She was not afraid to fight for what was right.  She was not afraid to show her true strengths.  Claude forbade any of the children to ever light a fire in that fireplace.  They only cried in response.

     Of all that burned with the fire, the candle and the clock survived.  Time, the children supposed, never really dies.

      Claude could have sworn he'd seen Elizabeth's shape in the ashy air, but the silhouette only lasted for a second before it disappeared.

     When he was alone, away from his teary-eyed children, Claude would cry by the bedside, where he and Elizabeth had spent countless nights together. 

     "Why did you have to leave me, Elizabeth, why?"

      Claude would never be the same without his wife.  He loved her.  She made everything interesting.  She had changed him for the better.

     Claude placed her ashes on her bedside nightstand.  This was Elizabeth's spot.  She would be here to stay.  He curiously opened up the drawer and found her diary.  This diary, he thought, would go to one of the children, but which one?

     Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont, always loved, rest in peace.

*The Antique Legacy*

Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont

     

Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont, Chp. 11, Gen. 1, 1717

~March 1717~
Dear Diary:

     Hettie seems to not be getting along well with Emilie.  Emilie, who has seemed to be avoiding me since our last fight, apparently is taking out her emotions on her sisters.
     "Maman," Hettie said, with tears in her eyes, "Emilie is making fun of me and being mean!"

     "She comes up to me and mocks me.  She says, 'Hettie, you think you're so great with those flowers in your hair, don't you?'  And I say, 'I like them. Don't you?'"

     "And she says, 'Sure, they're okay, but once you get older, like me, you'll learn that they're actually kind of childish...'  And that got me mad."

      "'What've you got against my hair?  I like it.  It isn't childish.  It's great!  And I smell fresh, just like a princess,' I said to her."

     "'Well,' she replied, 'once you get older like me, you'll realize that's boring.  Who want's a princess hairstyle?  A baby.  Just like you!'"

     "'You just watch it, Hettie.  Don't make me mad.  Or I'll blame everything on you.  And you'll get in trouble.'  Maman, she hurt my feelings.  I love my hair!"
     I held Hettie in my arms, and whispered into her ear that I would talk to Emilie.  And I also told Hettie that I loved her hair and that I hoped she kept it that way.  What is it with my dear children and their hair?


     With love,
             Elizabeth
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     Lately, Emilie was still in a swoon with Bernard.  Bernard liked her new hairstyle, and Emilie loved that he did.  When she explained to him the guilt she felt after her confrontation with her mother, he understood completely.
     "I think you might have been a little hard on her.  Madame Beaumont is a very nice.  I hope you can see how much she loves you.  I see it in her eyes every time we are around her.  She looks hurt, Emilie.  I think you'd best better say something.  Maybe you should apologize to her."
     Emilie looked at the ground and nodded, feeling badly.  She knew she should have been nicer to her own mother!

     "Look, Emilie.  It's okay.  Everyone makes their own mistakes..." Bernard gazed into Emilie's eyes.  Emilie looked back.

     "Emilie..." Bernard began.
     "Yes?" Emilie asked hopefully.  There was a silence.

     "Well..."

     "I love you."
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     Emilie was waiting outside for Elizabeth.  When her mother found her there, she was a little surprised.  Usually, Emilie never waited outside for Elizabeth.  Emilie knew that her mother loved gazing at the stars late at night.
     "What are you doing here, my sweet?" Elizabeth whispered.  Emilie got up from the bench she was sitting on.

     Elizabeth could see tears in her daughter's eyes.
     "Oh, Maman, I'm so sorry!"  Emilie ran into her mother's arms.  Elizabeth was surprised, but overcame the shock and took a deep breath.
     "Maman, I'm so, so sorry.  I'm such a stuck up girl.  I don't know how to make it right!  I've acted so wrong.  How can I make you forgive me?"
     "Dear heart," Elizabeth said.  "I have forgiven you long ago.  I will always forgive you, no matter what you do.  I love you so much."

     "You... you do forgive me?  But why?  I've acted so rude to you.  I've been horrible to my sisters and Jean-Claude.  They probably all despise me, now.  I should just run away and never see you all again.  I've made horrible mistakes and I can't fix them."

     "My sweet, sweet daughter.  You can fix every last one of your mistakes, just as you've fixed some of them now.  By apologizing.  By speaking your opinion in a respectful tone.  We all love you so much, Emilie.  I couldn't bear it if you left us for good.  Please stay.  I've never told you this before, but when I found out you were going to be born you gave me hope for a future of our Beaumont family.  One of you darlings will carry on our legacy in our name.  
     "Emilie, I'm so glad you talked to me.  You just need to speak your feelings.  I know I need to get better at listening to you, but you can always talk to me.  There... there will come a time when I will not be here.  I will be up in the sky, soaring with the stars, looking down at you and your sisters and your brother.  But, I will always be looking after you.  I will always be there-" Elizabeth pointed- "in your heart.  And you will always be in mine.  I love you so much.  You are my beautiful darling daughter and that will never, ever change."  Elizabeth smiled and her daughter noticed how her eyes crinkled at the corners in joy.  Emilie nodded and went inside to go to bed.
     Elizabeth looked at the stars.
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*The Antique Legacy*

Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont

Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont, Chp. 10, Gen. 1, 1716

~November, 1716~
Dear Diary:

     My sweet Emilie has finally grown into a beautiful young woman.  She is a bit lazy, but herself all the same.  She seems to have inherited my clumsiness, but she may grow out of it in all due time.  I so far have not, as any bystander could tell you...

     Jean-Claude has also grown into a child.  He is quite handsome, but I have not a clue where his lilac eyes have come from.  They have certainly NOT come from me... but Claude has hazel eyes!  I'm very confused, so I best just admire the wonder of it all...

     Life in our family seems well, except for one thing: Emilie.  She is not happy.  I fail to see why.  She has a family who loves her very much.  She has siblings who look up to her.  She has friends.  But, she challenges Claude's and my own authority.  She seems to be having a difficult time.  I constantly try to help her but she reacts by pushing me away.  These are just some of the things she says:
     "Leave me alone, Maman, please.  I want to be left alone."
     "Don't try to control me!  I want to be myself.  I'm not you."
     I've tried to talk to Claude about it, but he isn't sure what to do, either.  He tells me not to worry.  The teenage years are quite difficult, he explains to me.  
     

     I sulk around the house.  I want to know how to help my beautiful little Emilie!  I want my daughter to be happy!  But how?


     With love,
              Elizabeth
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     There was just one thing that Emilie found a happiness and peace in.

     Bernard DeCuir. 
     "Bernard," Emilie would say, "I think you're the only person who really understands me."
     "I've known you for a very long time."
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     Felicity noticed the change in Emilie, too.  Emilie never wanted to be around her siblings much anymore, except for Jean-Claude.  She seemed to have a connection with him.  Emilie drifted from Felicity.  
     As sad as it seemed, Felicity found a new closeness between herself and Mabeline.  The two grew to be great friends.
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     Bernard and Emilie began spending so much time together that Elizabeth began to wonder if it was more than a friendship.

     To Emilie, Bernard was the only one who would really listen to her without trying to tell her what to do.
     "Bernard, my mother always does my hair.  The problem is that I don't like it.  I've told her this, but she doesn't seem to listen.  I want to change it.  I hate braids!  They look so ugly."
     Bernard pondered this for a moment.  "Maybe you should change it on your own.  Tell your mother that you want to choose what you like and you would like to keep your new hairstyle instead of your mother's favorite."
      Emilie gazed into his dark blue eyes.  He was such a good listener.  He was never selfish with his advice or ideas.  "That's a good idea.  I will try it.  Thank you."
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     The next day, Emilie redid her hair to how she truly wanted it: Emilie-style.

     Claude noticed the new style.
     "Did you change your hair, Emilie?"
     Emilie looked at him, a hint of smugness behind her eyes.  "Yes, Papa.  Don't you like it?"
     "Well, it's certainly something different..."
     "It suits me.  I plan to keep my hair this way."
     "Oh, well be sure to tell your mother," Claude said hesitantly.

Elizabeth arrived home from an afternoon of tea with Madame DeMontre.

     "Emilie!"  Elizabeth yelped, offended at the new hairstyle.  "What happened to your braids?"

      "I changed it!  I like this better.  I hate those braids!  Why do you always make me wear them?  You never care about what I think!  Ever!"  Emilie yelled.   "I'm different from you!  I like different things.  So stop trying to make me someone I'm not!"

     Elizabeth leaped back, surprised.  "Calm down-"

     "No!  I won't calm down!"  Emilie shrieked.  "Not until you listen!  I want my hair like this!" 

     "Please, calm down!  You can have your hair like that!  I... I really didn't know how much you despised the braids.  I am so sorry this upset you so much.  Do not yell at me.  You can accomplish more without yelling.  You need to treat me with respect.  Claude as well.  And your sisters.  I will not have you acting like this."  Elizabeth said.

     Emilie, surprised at how easily Elizabeth gave in, glared at her and stalked away, as a slow, sinking feeling of guilt overtook her.

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Dear Diary:

     Emilie's attitude this evening astounded me.  I never knew she kept all of those feelings pent up inside.  The way she treated me was very upsetting.  I feel like a horrible mother.  Have I really and truly been so ignorant to my daughter's feelings?   Oh, help me find a way to make my daughter happy!  If only I could see her smiling face again!

     With love,

              Elizabeth

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     When Claude heard of Emilie's behavior, he was extremely disappointed.  He was quiet and stared down at the food without eating it, so Elizabeth knew something was upsetting him.

     "What is wrong, Claude?"

     Claude took a deep breath.  "This has nothing to do with Emilie, but it is serious.  I learned at the Printer's that a group of black slaves has been brought to the Louisiana territory for working."

     Elizabeth was shocked.  "But what does it mean?" She whispered.

     "Some slaves may be brought here to do work soon.  They must be purchased.  They live with families and do work for them.  They... can be treated any way the family desires.  That does not bother most people."  Claude shook his head.

     "But, it isn't fair!" Elizabeth cried.

     "It isn't.  Human beings shouldn't be able to be purchased.  Goods are meant to be purchased.  But-but not people.  But what can we- two people in a sea of thousands- do to stop this?"

     Elizabeth was so upset by this fact that Claude almost was sorry he told her.  To make it up to her, he decided to buy her a new outfit.  They went into town to get it tailored to fit her.

     Though the new dress made Elizabeth happier, it still couldn't take away the feelings of anger and sadness.

     Will my Emilie ever truly be happy again?  Would the world ever make things right?  I wish I could do something!

*The Antique Legacy*

Elizabeth Laurier-Beaumont