Emilie Beaumont, Chp. 1, Gen. 2, 1719

~January, 1719~
Dear Diary:


     Of all of us he could have given it to, Papa gave me, Emilie, the diary.  I was rather surprised.  The way I had acted to my Mother and sisters- I just really felt I did not deserve such a thing.  I'm really nothing like Maman.  She was a special person.  I am not as special as she was.  She was not afraid.  She was strong.  I feel weak and scared.  
     How I do miss my mother.  I wish I could have been there with her, so she didn't have to die such a lonely, horrible death.  My mother deserved so much more then she had in her life.  I don't think I can live up to what she has built for us.  I have yet to turn 16.  I have yet to master the English language.  I have yet... to be.
     The number of African slaves is increasing.  Papa has enough to worry about, with the Printer's and Maman's death and Jean-Claude's sickness.  He cannot be disturbed by a scared fifteen year old girl.  By a sad fifteen year old girl.  By a weak fifteen year old girl.  He just gave me the diary and went out the door.

     Maman's diary is thick.  Surprisingly, there still seems to be quite a bit of blank paper left.  I decide to start writing my thoughts underneath her last entry.  Perhaps this diary can be passed on throughout the Beaumont generations.  

     I will read my mother's diary so I can learn to be.


     With love,
             Emilie Beaumont
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     Jean-Claude had been fighting a losing battle.   Malaria had finally beat him and he passed away in his sleep on a chilly February morning.  The news of his mother's death had put a large amount of stress on him.

     Emilie was particularly close with little Jean-Claude.  She was deeply saddened.  She asked Claude if Jean-Claude's remains could be kept next to Elizabeth's.

     Felicity was devastated from the losses.  She did not trust any sort of fire- not even the small flame of a candle.  

     Even quiet little Hettie, who, along with Mabeline, had aged into beautiful teenagers, could not stop the sobs from escaping her.  

     Mabeline preferred to mourn outside, away from Jean-Claude's bed and away from the fireplace.  

     Being outside made Mabeline feel closer to Elizabeth somehow.  Maybe, thought Mabeline, it's just the stars.
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      One day, Emilie decided to visit Bernard.  She needed a shoulder to cry on and her sisters wanted to be by themselves.

     "Oh, Bernard! Our family is falling apart!" Emilie sniffed.  "I do not know how I can go on without my mother and Jean-Claude.  And-and Jean-Claude was just an innocent little boy!"  Emilie's tears dampened Bernard's coat.  
     "Emilie, I understand your sadness, but do remember that your family is fortunate to not have lost any more.  My older brother died of sickness when he was only two years old.  My mother didn't think she could have anymore children after I was born,  Some families lose nearly everyone."  Bernard patted Emilie on the shoulder.
     Emilie sobbed again.  "What would I do without you, Bernard?"  
     Bernard stiffened.

     "Emilie," Bernard said hesitantly, "I have something I need to tell you now."
     Emilie gazed  at him.  He looked blurry due to the tears in her eyes.
     "My family is- well, we're moving to Boston next week."
     Silence stretched around them and suffocated their words.  Emilie shook her head in disbelief.  Her lips trembled.  Tears spilled onto her cheeks.

     "You-" Emilie sniffled -"you're leaving me alone here to become trapped in my sorrows? How could you leave me?  I love you?" Emilie cried. "I have nothing to lose, now.  NOTHING!  I don't have anything else to live for.  How could you do this to me-"

     "Emilie, please!  I don't want to leave you.  You mean more to me then anything else in this new world.  You are my daylight.  You bring smiles to my face.  My family is moving and I am not yet eighteen.  I will come back to you someday.  I promise you."

     "Bernard, I cannot live through this alone.  You just made it worse for me. How could you?"  
     "Listen, Emilie.  You are strong-willed.  You can get through this.  You don't need me.  I will come back for you, no matter what.  It may be in two weeks, it may be in 20 years.  But no matter what, I will come back for you."
     Emilie and Bernard departed and went their separate ways.  Emilie's sadness was replaced by anger, then by determination.
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Dear Diary:

     Bernard is leaving me.  I could not bear to imagine life without him.  But he promises to come back for me.  I hope with all my heart he returns soon.  Somehow, I have a feeling that it will not be soon, though.  
     I will get through this.  I will not let this ruin my life.  Death is a part of life.  Maman and Jean-Claude are in a better place, but how I do miss them!  The house is quiet and more empty.  Papa sleeps next to an empty pillow.  Maman was not afraid to show her strength. 

     And that is exactly how I plan to be. 


     With love,
             Emilie 
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*The Antique Legacy*

Emilie Beaumont