Friday, August 3, 2012

Anne Barnes, Chp. 11, Gen. 4, 1788


     "Oh, excuse-me, Antoine!" She rushed up to him.  "I sure hope I did not interrupt you and your... your... lady!"  Anne snapped.


     "A-Anne!  Uh, this is not what you think!"
     "Oh, yes, it is!  You want a wife who is obedient and knows her boundaries.  Go ahead and get married to her!  See if I care!  I guess you also want a cheater, too.  Well, if you are going to marry her, you have got exactly what you want!" 
     "Anne, let us be reasonable--"


     "And what exactly do you propose is reasonable?  Blowing this over and going on our merry way?  No.  I do not think so.  You do not love me.  You never did."  Anne shook her head.  "It was all a trap.  You trapped me for your own power and fame to your name.  I was just a woman to have your children.  Well, you know what?  I am going to find someone who does actually love me, and they'll love my children, too!"




     "Anne, you cannot do this!"  Antoine pleaded.




     "Did you just try to tell me what to do?"  Anne asked, quietly.  "Don't you dare tell me what to do!  I am leaving and you cannot stop me!"
     Antoine grabbed her arm.  "You are not going anywhere."




     Anne pulled away quickly.  "Don't touch me again.  I am leaving and I am taking my children with me.  And if you try to go after me legally, then I will tell the world that you had an affair.  The Herrons know a journalist.  I am quite sure that he would love hearing the news from me.  The famous Antoine Barnes goes bad!  Can you imagine the gossip?  If you go after me legally, than your precious reputation will be crushed.  You sure would not want that, would you?"
     "This is completely unreasonable!  Just think about this!  You have no money.  Where will you go?" Antoine yelled.




     "There is nothing else to think about, Antoine!  I will find a way.  And, as of now, it really isn't any of your business.  I will keep your reputation clean if you do not fight for the children or me.  You could say you had a change of heart.  If  you want to visit Bartholomew, I will let you.  It wouldn't be fair for me to cut you from his life completely, although I know you don't care for Nettie or Franklin."
     
     Antoine's face told her that he was considering it.  Anne prayed it would work, even though the Herrons really didn't know a journalist, nor did Anne have a plan of where she would go.
     "Fine," he grumbled finally.  "But you will tell no one about... May." He pointed to woman in the corner who was trying not to be noticed.  "And I want to see my Bartholomew once every week.  Contact me as soon as you figure things out.  If you don't, I will find you."  


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     She had gathered the children, bundled them up, and grabbed the journals out of her father's wooden chest (she still had not read them).  With sadness, Anne realized that she did not have any other 'real' belongings.  The perfumes, clothes, and everything else that Antoine had provided to her were meaningless and worth nothing, now.


     And with no one to say goodbye to, she called Daisy, and they left.

     However, Anne toted the children around for hours, unsure of where to take them, when she realized that she had ended up in the same place: on the road between the Herrons and Antoine's mansion.  It was dawn, and Franklin started crying.
     "I want to go home, Mama!  I really want to go home!"
     Anne tried to quiet him, but Eileen Herron came sprinting out from her home.




     "Oh my gosh, Anne!  What is the matter?"  
     


     "I have nowhere to go!  Antoine is having an affair and I cannot stand it any longer!  I have no money and I have no idea what to do!"  Anne said worriedly.




     "Calm down, Anne!  It's going to be alright!"
     "No, you do not understand!  Antoine has someone else now!  I have left him and I do not have any money!"
     "Anne, dear, you can stay with us until you can get back on track.  I certainly do not mind, and I know that Demarcus will be fine with this arrangement, too.  He knows how close you and I are.  I'd do anything for you, Anne."




     "What?  You really mean it?  Really and most truly?"
     "Of course, Anne!  You are my best friend.  We'd love the company.  Sure is quiet around here, and we would most definitely love the noise."  Eileen nodded and laughed.  "Besides, I could not simply abandon you out on the streets!  What friend would do that?"
     "Oh, Eileen!  You have no idea what you are doing for me!  No idea!"
     "This is what friends are for.  I know you would do the same thing if you were in my shoes."
     "Without a doubt I would!"
     It was settled.

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     Life did go on for the Barnes children, along with their mother.  Though it was difficult for all three of them to share one crib, they took turns.  Anne, most of the time, slept on the sofa, but once in a while, the Herrons were kind enough to let her have the master bed for an evening.  Anne was truly grateful, and did not know what would have become of her family if Eileen had not offered to let them stay.
     The children were growing up.  Anne tried to spend as much time as possible with each one of them, reading to little Nettie, comforting Bartholomew, who hated visiting his father, and telling Franklin that he, too, was very smart.




     One day, Nettie had the nerve to ask, "Why does only Bartholomew see Papa?"
     Anne did not know what to say.  "Well, your Papa is a very busy man, and he would like to teach Bartholomew how to be an advocate, too."
     Anne could tell that Nettie (bless her heart) missed her father, even if he didn't care for her one wink.


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     One night, to Anne's great sadness, sweet little Daisy passed away.  Anne would never forget her kindness and ability to make her smile in the worst of times.  Daisy, Anne thought, was something very special.  She helped me find that there are people out there like me.


     Though it was not easy for Anne to describe, from time to time, she felt the dog's presence.  The kind old dog never seemed to want to leave Anne's side!

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     As time went on, Anne realized more and more that Antoine had simply played a cruel 'trick' on a poor girl --herself--  who had never knew what romantic love felt like.  Empty words of flattery and his dazzling smile were all useless and fake.  Now, Anne realized that she had never actually fallen in love.  But Anne never regretted a minute of her relationship with her ex-husband.  She wasn't sure if she'd ever find love again, but that marriage had given her the most important thing in the world: her children.  And that was priceless.

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     Poor Bartholomew walked to his father's home every Sunday to visit.  He hated every minute of it, because his dislike of his father was extremely strong.


     Often, Anne noted, he would come home in tears of sadness and anger, saying that the only thing he did that afternoon was read law books and listen to his father ramble on about his job.  All he really wanted to do was look at the clouds or stargaze at night.
     "I hate those books, I hate learning law, and I hate him!"  Bartholomew would scream.
     "Shh, sweetie, do not talk like that!"  But Anne's own attempts were half-hearted.  She knew how Antoine could be.




     And Frankie loved to run away after bedtime to explore the woods.  Anne frequently scolded him for doing so, as the woods could be a very dangerous place for a small boy at nighttime hours.  Frankie, it seemed, had a mind of his own, and did not mind getting in trouble.




     Nettie was full of fire and curiosity.  She would often not take 'No' for an answer and would look for ways to accomplish any small goal she had.  Anne felt sorry for poor Antoinette, the lone girl of the children.  With Bartholomew visiting Antoine, and with Franklin running off into the woods, Nettie was often left with no one to play with, so Anne told her stories about Anne's own childhood.
     "Most of my childhood I was mute!  I would not speak to anyone.  I had to learn ways to communicate to others with my hands and facial expressions.  It was difficult, and it taught me something very important.  Nettie, I want you to know that you should always speak out for what you believe in.  It may be hard, but it is the right thing to do, and it can mean the difference between happiness and misery."


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      One night, when Anne found herself tossing and turning in bed, she decided to overcome her fears and read the contents of her father's wooden chest.




     It had not been an easy decision for Anne, but as she gripped the journal, she knew it was a decision long overdue.  Her father deserved this justification.




     There was a note folded up between the cover and the first page.  She opened it.


     Dear little Anne,

     You may always remember me as a nonexistent father, an overwhelmed and troubled old man who was just a piece of the rubble.  I know I have not been the best father, but I hope you will find peace in these diaries.  They will teach you more than you could ever imagine.

     I hope you will accept an old man's apology; a dying old father's apology for never being there for you.  Now, as I lay upon my deathbed, you will never know how much I regret not getting to know you.  When we're together, we are two strangers and I cannot explain to you how sad it makes me.  I have wanted to communicate with you for a while, but you never seemed to have much to say to me.

     I know I deserve that.  I deserve to be ignored.  I know I do not deserve your words.  I know that you deserved mine, though.  You deserved so much more.
   
     When your mother was dying, I made a promise to her.  I promised her that I would tell you about her every day.  I never did.  It hurt too much.  But that is no excuse.  Use these diaries to learn more about our family.  You will learn everything I knew about Aphrodisia.  You will learn about me.  And your grandmother.  And even your great-grandmother, too.

     Don't stop smiling, Anne.  One day I told you how beautiful your smile was, but then you stopped smiling.  You will never know how much your smiles brighten up my day.  Even if you were smiling at someone else and not me.

     It is my last hope that you will find someone special enough to appreciate that smile of yours as much as I do.

     Love,
          Melatiah, your father 

     Anne closed the diary and got up, eyes welling with tears.




     "Oh, Father!  I am so sorry I did not give you a chance!"  Anne whispered.  For the rest of that night, Anne read her father's journal.  And then she read each and every one of the other diaries, too.
     And she smiled, for they taught her more than she could have ever imagined.


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*The Antique Legacy*
Anne Barnes