Sunday, March 23, 2014

Antoinette Clancy, Chp. 3, Gen. 5, 1800


~Spring, 1800~

     Antoinette couldn't sleep.  It was quite the untimely hour, but she was not fatigued.  She just had a restless feeling.  There was something that needed to be done.


     Antoinette sighed.  Time had passed, indeed, but she still had dreams.  Aspirations.  And she needed to move forward.  She had spent hours sitting at the top of the attic steps, listening closely to her brothers' cello sessions, straining for the tutor's every word, closing her eyes as each painfully timid note floated up to her (the boys were absolutely terrible at playing the instrument, and had no confidence, to boot).


     She spent hours at night while everyone was asleep, stealing Bartholomew's notes (Franklin did not bother himself with the chore of paying attention) and song pieces to try to learn on her own.  It may have been difficult, but with her brother's neat handwriting and her memory of the tutor's words, a tenacious Antoinette taught herself how to play.
     But even though she was capable of that great feat, she knew that it would not be enough to become a great cellist.  She needed someone to help her.  She needed feedback.  She had an idea.  Another plan.


     "Franklin?" She whispered.  "Franklin, wake up.  I need your help."
     A muffled groan.
     "Franklin!"
  

     "Antoinette?  You should not be awake now!  The spirits could attack you!" 
     "Stop being ridiculous.  I really wish you would cease this... this utter rubbish about spirits and ghosts!  Whatever you've been doing in that forest--"
     "What do you want, anyway?  Did you wake me up just to scold me?  Because if so, just leave me be.  I am trying to sleep."
     "I need your help with something.  Please wake Bartholomew and meet me in the music room.  I want you to see something."



     After a little more convincing, Franklin and Bartholomew finally agreed to follow Antoinette to the music room.
     "Franklin.  Bartholomew.  This is something that I've been working on for a few years.  When you two were having your cello sessions, I tried to learn along with you by listening from the top of the steps.  I stole your music when you went to bed and I played by myself at night.  I want you to listen to me play.  Please."


 Hope is a little lemon-drop candy


 It might go along with a touch of tea


A hint of sweet in a bitter sea


It will bring a smile back to thee.

    It was a sweet, melancholy tune.


     "Nettie... that's all very well and good, but...  I mean, it's very impressive, but..."


     "W-what do you mean, 'but'?" Antoinette's heart sank.
     "We all know good old Bart doesn't know what he's talking about, Nettie.  I think you did a nice job, and it seems like you have some talent, but who on Earth cares?"  Franklin laughed.


     Antoinette shot a glance of ice at Franklin.
    "You know what, Franklin?  Just leave.  I have not the slightest clue why I even invited you down here.  And you know what?  Even if you don't care about my playing, I do!  So just go back up to bed and obsess about ghosts just a little more!"
     But Franklin only laughed and barely budged.


     "Look, Nettie.  I think what you have done is impressive, too, but Franklin has a point.  Even though it's evident that you have some skill, what could you do with it?  I know you have done much sewing with Mother, so why don't you just forget about this instrument and work on that instead?"


     "Just forget about the instrument?  Just forget?  Have you lost your mind?"
     Antoinette received a blank stare.
     "I love that instrument.  And I am not going to forget about it.  And you know what else?  I'm disappointed in you.  I thought that you would be there for me.  I have done this all by myself, and I was just hoping that you would be supportive of me, since no one else is!"


     "But it is just a trinket!  There's more to life than that.  I would support you if you chose to do something more productive--"
     "No, Bartholomew!  It is not just a trinket!  It is music.  It is love.  It is my way of showing the world that I am just as talented or even more talented than you are!  I am sick and tired of you two always getting everything while I am forced to follow a specific life expectation of cooking and sewing.  I am fully able to do whatever you can.  In fact, I think I can do more."


     "You think I have freedom, Antoinette?  You think I get to do what I want?  You are absolutely wrong!  I go over to Father's where he forces me to study book upon book about law and advocacy.  I hate it.  And you know that.  I've spent hours telling you about the stars, and how much I love gazing at the above, and Father would never accept that.   You are still innocent from Father.  Count yourself lucky to live in a world where you are safe and of peace of mind.  You still don't know what he did to our family."


     "Well, tell me already so I can join your worthless, ridiculous little pity party!"  Antoinette screamed.


     "Father... Well, he cheated on Mother.  And I witnessed it when we were very young."


     "And, Nettie, that's the real reason why we left.  I did not want to tell you, but if it helps you understand me a little better, and why I have such a grudge against him..."


     "Nettie...?"


     "You know, Bartholomew?"  Antoinette said slowly, voice trembling,  "That's all very well and good, but... I mean, it's very impressive, but... in the end, if you truly cared, you would support me no matter what happened to you, or Mother, or us.  You would support me no matter how important the cello is to you, because you know how important it is to me."


     "Bartholomew, I have always believed in you."  She turned and walked away.

******************************************************************************


     Things seemed to be going well for Anne.  She was finally happy at last.  Truly happy.  She did not feel like she was lying to herself, like when she had been married to Antoine.

 
     She knew her children were being brought up to become very nice young men and women, thanks to Ivan's entrance into her life.  Anne still shuddered at the thought of poor Bartholomew trudging along to his father's, but she took pride in knowing that he at least spent most of his time away from Antoine's.


     Sometimes, Anne wondered about the old lemon-drop house.  Who was taking care of it now?  Ah, how the times change...
    Antoinette entered the room, looking a touch troubled, and Anne shifted over to make room for her daughter to sit down.


     "Mother, how I have looked up to you!"
     Anne, touched, smiled.  "Me?  But whatever could you mean by that?"


     Antoinette looked away.  "Mother, I am nearly sixteen years old.  I am old enough to take on the truth.  I want to hear it from you, and I would like you to be completely honest with me.  Please."
     "Anything, my dear.  Anything you ask, you shall hear the truth from me."


     "I want to know what really happened the night you took us and left Father."


     "Oh!"  Anne was shocked, but she knew that her daughter was too intelligent for any 'dancing around the subject'.
     "Well, Antoine and I had been having some difficulties getting along.  You see, I was extremely upset with his treatment of me, but mostly of you.  Franklin, too.  All he cared about was Bartholomew, and carrying on the family name.  And, of course, having me behave like he believed I should."


     "He once told me that he would find another wife if I continued acting in a manner that was inconsistent with his wishes.  That's exactly what he did, in a way.  That night... I found him with another woman.  It was the final straw.
     "I did not want to tell you because I wanted you to remember him in the best spirit possible.  But since you want only the truth, there you have it."


     "Mother, you are so strong.  You did not let him control you.  You did something that made you a hero."


     "I'm flattered you feel that way, dear, but..."


     "No, Mother.  You did something so admirable.  Instead of letting him control you, you took charge of your own decisions.  You did something all by yourself, without anyone's help.  You didn't have anyone, but that didn't matter to you."


     "Maybe you'll see it one day, Mother.  But you are my hero.  You have taught me to be a fighter."


     "Antoinette, always fight for what you believe in.  You are such an intelligent young woman and I know you have so much more potential than sewing and cooking could ever offer."


     "You're right, Mother.  You're right."

******************************************************************************


     A rather mysterious figure stood outside the Clancy Mansion.  Straightening the glasses, the figure started for the abode.


     Clearly nervous, the figure climbed up the steps, fidgeting with those baggy brown trousers.


     The figure crossed the foyer and headed for the steps.


     It seemed to take an eternity to reach the top.


     Franklin seemed to be arguing with the tutor about something when the figure finally turned towards them.
    "Excuse me, sir," the figure said with a very strained attempt at a deep voice.


     "I, uh, heard you might be able to tutor me.  I am quite the talented cellist, better than my friend, Franklin, here."


******************************************************************************


*The Antique Legacy*
Antoinette Clancy

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Antoinette Clancy, Chp. 2, Gen. 5, 1796




1796
Dear Diary,

     The day the two new cellos arrived, I was very curious.  You see, Ivan finally put his foot down about us children.  Mother had been trying to tutor us; however, she has struggled recently with our lessons since she must take care of the twins.  Did I mention that she gave birth to Millicent and Agnes just this year? 





     I believe Mother is a great mother.  I get jealous seeing her with the twins all the time, and I wish she would spend time more time with me.  Then I think about how often she tells the story of when she escaped from Father and took us with her.  Sometimes love shows itself in different forms, I suppose.  I'm too old to be coddled and cooed at like a baby.



     Ivan is a good step-father, and he cares about our futures.  Firstly, he hired a tutor to come to our mansion and spend the whole day with us children to teach us about various subjects.  Secondly, he decided to have two cellos built so that we can learn how to play them!  He says that it is very important in Charleston to be able to play instruments as it is better for one's reputation and due respect.
     There's just something about the instrument that fascinates me.  Maybe it is because I have never seen one before, or that I am amazed by the size of it, but I long to play it.  I cannot wait for my first lesson!  I'll be sure to tell you all about it.

     Your friend,
          Antoinette 

******************************************************************************

     


     After finishing her journal entry, Nettie scrambled down the steps in pursuit of Ivan.  
     "Ivan!  Ivan!  Where are you, Ivan?  Ivan!"  She screamed.
     "Antoinette!  You know we allow absolutely no yelling inside the mansion.  Whatever is the matter?"
     

     "I promise I will not scream anymore!  I just want to know when the tutor will be here to teach me how to play the cello!  Will he be here today?  Tomorrow?  Will he stay in the house with us?  Can I try to play before he arrives?  Will he be here in less than an hour?  Will he--"  



     Ivan started chuckling, not unkindly.   
     "Antoinette, the cellos are for Franklin and Bartholomew.  The tutor will be teaching them how to play.  You will be learning how to cook.  Your mother is planning to teach you how to cook and sew."
      Antoinette's heart dropped.  She tried to hold back tears. 
     "But, why?  Why can't I learn as well?"
     "Because the boys must be educated so they can attend colleges.  They must gather credentials in order to be admitted into prestigious schools.  That is why there are two cellos, not three."  Upon seeing Antoinette's down-trodden face, he added, "Sewing is a very admirable skill to have, Antoinette.  The world would not exist without the wondrous sewing skills of talented women.  You should be excited to learn how to sew."
     "But I do not care about sewing!  I just want to learn how to play that instrument!  Please, Ivan.  Please."


     "Listen, Antoinette.  Even if you learned how to play, what good would that do for you?  You would not be able to use that playing skill for anything.  It would just be a waste.  The answer is no, and that is final.  Use your talent for sewing or something else.  You are a very intelligent young girl, and your intelligence should be put to something you can use in the future."
     Antoinette trudged away.

******************************************************************************


     It just was not fair.  Franklin and Bartholomew could care less about learning to play an instrument!  Franklin spent his days out in the forest, doing who knows what.  Nettie tried to follow him once, to see what he might be doing, but he told her to run back home.
     "I do not tell girls my secrets," he turned up his nose.
     And Franklin hated learning.  He barely payed any attention to his lessons, and Anne would often become so frustrated that she would just stop speaking all together and stare at him with a red face.  If Franklin hated anything related to tutoring and practicing, why on Earth would he be interested in learning the cello?  Or even getting into a prestigious school, for that matter?



     It was almost even worse, thinking about Bartholomew.  He, at least, did something productive with his time, but Bartholomew was not one for creativity.  He like mathematics and calculating and stargazing.  He did not have a creative bone in his body, Antoinette knew it.  And how, exactly, could a person play an instrument with heart and soul if all he wanted to to was think about perimeters and areas and how many more apples Person A has than Person B and how far away that one star is.  Antoinette knew that just would not work.



     I wish that I were a boy so I could learn, too.


******************************************************************************


      
     That night, Antoinette, Bartholomew, and Franklin had to eat by themselves, as Anne and Ivan had to discuss "things" with the tutor.



     "I have to go to Father's soon," Bartholomew sighed sadly.
     "I'm so fortunate that Father only wants to see you!" Franklin laughed.  
     "Yes, you are definitely lucky.  Oh, how I absolutely dread seeing him!"



     "You should not say that about Father, Bartholomew.  I miss him so much.  I cannot even remember what he looks like, it has been so long since I have seen him."




     "Nettie, don't you ever say that!  He is a horrible, horrible man!  He does not care about you or Franklin!  You do not even know--"
     "Know what?"
     "I can't tell you.  But forget about Father.  Hate him all you want, but just don't miss him or love him."
    

     Antoinette knew he was hiding something, and her curiosity was definitely piqued, but she had another idea, a plan so great that nothing could stop her from carrying it out.
     "Bartholomew, can I come with you to Father's?"
     Bartholomew was shocked.  "Absolutely not!  That is not possible.  It would never be allowed.  I will not let you!"
     "Are you sure about that?  Catch me if you can!" Bolting from the table, Antoinette ran out of the house, not stopping until she reached the mansion of Antoine Barnes.  She could see that her brother was running towards her, in the distance.  
     "Wait!  Nettie, stop!"



     But she payed him no mind.  
     "FATHER!" She screamed, shaking the gate in front of his mansion.  "Father, I need your help!"
     She heard a voice boom from inside the house,  "Leave at once!  Get off of my property!"
     "Father, wait!  I know you do not wish to see me, but can you please help me?  Could you please get me a tutor for the cello?  Please?  I'll never, ever bother you again, I promise!"
     Antoinette excitedly waited for a response, but received nothing.  Antoine did not leave his house, or even ask her to leave.  Just nothing.  Absolutely nothing.



     The plan had failed, but Antoinette felt worse than just having a plan that did not work.  Her father had failed her, too.  Now there was no hope of ever learning to play.  Ivan would not listen, and neither would her father.



     Antoinette turned around to Bartholomew, who had caught up and seemed to know it was unwise to tell her, "I told you so."
     "Fine, Bartholomew!  He's all yours.  He always was.  You win and you get everything!  You always do."
     "Nettie, look.  I am really sorry.  He is a terrible man, and I do hate him, myself.  I did not want you to see that side of him.  You don't know the whole story--"
      "No, Bartholomew!  You do not know the whole story!  You get to do whatever you want!  He will do things for you, Ivan will do things for you, Mother will do things for you, but by the time they do all that, there's nothing left for me!  All I wanted to do was learn how to play the cello, and it just isn't fair because I'm the only one who really cares about learning it, and that doesn't seem to matter to anyone.  You know what, Bartholomew?  I will learn how to play it.  No one is going to stop me.  Just you wait and see.  And I will become the best cellist you all will ever know."
     And with that, Antoinette left a quizzical Bartholomew to ponder her words.

******************************************************************************



     That night, as Antoinette heard the muffled sounds of Franklin's first cello lesson (Bartholomew was still at Antoine's), a new plan took form in her mind.  This plan was so great that she knew there was no possibility of failing.



     Yes, thought Antoinette as she reflected on her plan, I will show them all.

******************************************************************************


     Time went by.  When no one was watching, a young girl strode up to one of the cellos and started playing.  Maybe it was at night, when everyone was already fast asleep.


     Or maybe it was during the day, when everyone was outside enjoying the fresh sunshine and promise of a pretty day.



     Such a beautiful, beautiful sound.

******************************************************************************

*The Antique Legacy*
Antoinette Clancy